i wish i was that weird and quiet girl that’s secretly dating a really hot celebrity but instead im just that weird and quiet girl
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- men: I can’t stand girls with low self-esteem, it’s such a turn off
- men: Ew a fat girl ew stretch marks I want to be able to pick a girl up and kiss her and hold her in the air wow she has a flat chest mosquito-bite boobs oh gosh I don’t like boobs that big they get in the way I want a flat tummy on my girl oh she has to have a great body no love handles yuck beef curtains are gross I like big nipples I like small nipples yuck thunder thighs no that’s too thin you look anorexic I love curves no not plus-size just skinny girls with small waists and big hips wow caked on make-up is such a turn-off yet I worship this celebrity that has never been seen without make-up and I watch porn so my idea of a real woman is thousands of dollars in plastic surgery and I have unreasonable standards that real women will never be able to attain
- 1/4 part of me: I want to be cute and delicate and have a petite body.
- 1/4 part of me: I want to look smokin' hot and sexy in a bikini and have curves and a fuck you attitude
- 1/4 part of me: I don't even care man I can totally eat all of that cake watch me
- 1/4 part of me: I want to murder everyone and laugh as i bathe in their blood
- 1/4 part of me: I want to be cute and delicate and have a petite body.
- 1/4 part of me: I want to look smokin' hot and sexy in a bikini and have curves and a fuck you attitude
- 1/4 part of me: I don't even care man I can totally eat all of that cake watch me
- 1/4 part of me: I want to murder everyone and laugh as i bathe in their blood
- Me: Wow, I'm home alone.
- Me: *In the shower* I WISH THAT I HAD JESSIE'S GIRL
- Me: *Into a hairbrush* NO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CUT ME OFF
- Me: *Running around the house* TONI-I-I-I-I-IGHT WE ARE YOUNG
- Me: *Upside down, balancing herself on the couch* IM FEELIN' SEXY AND FREEE
- Me: *Making microwave popcorn* BABY YOU LIGHT UP MY WORLD LIKE NOBODY ELSE
- Family: *comes home*
- Me: *Locks herself in room and goes on Tumblr*
how come in like every single book ever the weird awkward girl gets the hot popular guy like this is not how real life works
- boy: girls are so lucky they dont need to shave their faces or have boners.
- girl: shaving legs, shaving arms, waxing, plucking, pubes, periods, cramps, pregnancy, giving birth, makeup, shut the fuck up.
She won’t break you like those other girls will. That’s exactly why you are terrified of her. She could make you happy. And you know being happy is the most terrifying thing in the universe. Once you’re happy it can be taken from you.
The girl who terrifies you.
(via awkwardlymagnificent)
(via awkwardlymagnificent)
She’s the girl that has a few best friends & doesn’t need anymore, the girl that laughs the hardest at her own jokes. She’s the girl that will hang up on you, but then call you right back & say sorry. She’s the girl who will never leave your side when you need her, the girl who will go out of her way to cheer you up. She’s the girl who says she isn’t ticklish, but really is. She’s the girl who will not give up on you if she really believes in you. She’s the girl who believes in loving somebody forever. She’s me.